The stories we tell ourselves are often tied to underlying beliefs. If I believe that I am lovable and loved – valuable and valued – by the important people in my life, I’m more likely to be happy and feel secure. If I believe the opposite, I’m more likely to be hurt and angry and that also is going to resonate outward in how I interact with others in my life.
Emotions can be destructive when they are greatly out of tune with a situation. Our biases, mental habits, and expectations can cloud our judgments, nudging or pulling us into emotions that really don’t make sense, given what’s going on in the situation.
One of the main purposes of cognitive therapy and mindfulness practices is to increase our awareness of the filters we have that colour how we understand our experience. Fortunately, we have the ability to identify our own biases and try to correct for them when they pop up.
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