An Iteration Mindset: Embrace Failure on the Road to Success
Adopt A Mindset that Welcomes Iteration Iteration is how creation works. If you’re a creator, having a mindset that lets you learn, adapt, and try
366
Given my total lack of interest in, and knowledge of, numerology, this number has no inherent meaning to me.
Citizens before consumers
One of the challenges of living in a society that encourages its members to …
Marketing
Thanks to those who took me up on the offer to share some of your principles with me.
Identify 10 Principles You Live By
It’s been a useful exercise to articulate a set of principles that support what I’m up to.
2 Ways to Heal Trauma: The Stories We Tell and TRE
The newest member of our family is a 14-month-old Labradoodle named Charlie.
Changes
I started this blog, along with my new coaching website, last September on my birthday.
In the beginning was the conclusion
I wrote recently about Daniel Kahneman’s delineation of System One (automatic) and System Two (deliberative) thinking.
Myth and reality
Storyteller Kevin Kling says that, when he turns something into a story, it doesn’t control him anymore.
Growing from and toward
The storyteller Kevin Kling notes that, when we are born with a loss …
Empirical thinking
The large and powerful run a greater risk of presuming their own indispensability.
Setting the bar
A therapist friend of mine has a number of outstanding clients right now …
The availability heuristic
The availability heuristic recognizes our tendency to think that what we see is all there is.
Two selves
Each of us has an “experiencing self” and a “remembering self” — and they are very different.
Beliefs and reasons
The reason why it is very hard to argue someone out of a belief is that …
The long view
Taking the long view – returning hope to our interpretation of the data – is not exclusively the property of the marginalized …
A needed reckoning
If we are going to save ourselves, the time is near where a reckoning must happen.
Seeing the beyond of it
There’s a prayer composed by the late Roman Catholic Bishop Ken Untener …
Beyond here be dragons
Humanity has mastered more of the mysteries of nature than people as recently as a century or two ago might have thought possible.
The problem of diversity
For most of human history, most people have lived among people who are pretty much the same as themselves.
Body and soul
There is a long history in the west of denigrating the body and privileging the mind.
Fear, courage, discernment
I had never heard of the US gymnast Simone Biles until one of my daughters was raving about her on Monday.
Stop Resisting Negative Emotions. Do This Instead
“The healing is in the return … Not in not getting lost in the beginning.” – Sharon Salzberg
The better angels of our nature
Social scientist Nicholas Christakis has coined the term social suite …
Meta-stories
Today we had a post-covid visit with a friend we hadn’t seen for a long time.
Unprecedented
One of my favourite quips from 2020 was: “the unprecedented use of the word ‘unprecedented’.”
The Art of Listening
Almost a decade ago, in an article in The New York Times Sunday Review called “The Art of Listening,” …
Geraniums and juncos
Choosing willingness is particularly powerful when we are not able.
Willingness vs. ability
It’s nice when both qualities come together, but it doesn’t always happen.
Reality
On June 15, our provincial government lifted the restriction on traveling in BC.
Wisdom and technology
This weekend, I heard a First Nation elder say “technology needs to be guarded by wisdom.”
Inspiration or comparison
When presented with another person’s success, we get to choose …
Confidence and hope
Confidence is statistically verifiable. Evidentiary. Rational. That which we can reasonably predict based on the facts before us.
Civilized
Naturalist and author, Michael McCarthy, points out that we contain, deep within us …
Resilient fragility
John Paul Lederach has devoted his life to building peace in places like Columbia and Northern Ireland.
Uncertainty
Vincent Harding suggested that for all kinds of political, economic and psychological reasons …
Witnesses, not spectators
Rabbi Ariel Burger, a student of Elie Wiesel, says that Wiesel literally did not sleep well at night …
The origin of racism was a story
The beginning of racism as we think of it today began in 1453.
Out of our mouths
Jason Reynolds notes that one of the things the pandemic has taught/reminded us …
Our first story
Before we create and inhabit the stories of our own choosing, we inhabit the story we are raised in.
Emotions, part 5
Using anger as an example of the difference between constructive and destructive emotions,
Motion is not action
Like a disengaged gear spinning, or like Wile E. Coyote – legs still moving…
Fury as a function of learning
Learning can be very upsetting and can set off a lot of negative emotions.
Becoming, part 5
Rather than the language of the “true” and “false” self, I prefer the “essential” self.
Becoming, part 2
Alongside and mingled together with the versions of our life offered by the world …
Improvement, part 3
Social media encourages people to project unrealistic lives into the universe for the rest of us to envy.
Improvement, part 1
There is an almost-unquestionable assumption baked into modern western culture …
Freedom, part 4
When it comes to the most important occurrences in religious traditions, …
Freedom, part 1
This week marks an important time in two thirds of the great spiritual traditions from the “west.”
Impermanence, final (for now)
Some of the events in our life are within our control while others are not.
Impermanence, part 1
Dualities like “us and them” are one of the ways our stories lead to confusion between reality and interpretation.
Mouths
The German philosopher, cultural critic, and essayist, Walter Benjamin, said that the novel is actually a break from storytelling.
Convergence, part 2
As the river that is a life – a library of tales, fables, myths, legends, poems and narratives of every description – approaches the ocean …
Noticing, part 3
Learning to see the same things other people see – but differently – requires space.
Witnesses
When we encounter the universe that is another person, we have a menu of choices of how to respond. Rabbi Ariel Burger observes two challenges
The ninth symphony
n the last decade of his life, completely deaf, Ludwig van Beethoven created his Ninth Symphony.
“I have climbed highest mountains”
The Irish rock band, U2, spoke to it for a generation or two of pop music lovers …
Facts and opinions
It is possible to believe that there is such a thing as universally valid reason …
Yearning for that which we are not
Part of being human involves a deep yearning for something beyond ourselves.
Conventional thinking, part 1
I recall a (really smart) friend of mine saying, many years ago,
A welcome place
Even though solitude is an inherently value-neutral word, many in western cultures would think of it negatively.
Solitude and loneliness
According to the Buddhist teacher Stephen Batchelor, author of Alone with Others and The Art of Solitude, …
Multi-tasking vs. task switching
Where focus is required, multitasking is a neurological impossibility.
The comparing mind
Malicious code refers to tiny pieces of code that can wreck computers: viruses, trojan horses, worms, etc. They are introduced to a computer when the
Sleeping with bread
Before it was the title of a book, it was a story from the bombing raids of World War 2 Europe.
Choice
We have more choices and decisions to make in a day than any other humans in the history of the species.
The artist and the art
The biggest, most important task we can undertake is that of becoming our true self.
The grand vision
The difference between the masters and the rest of us is not that they were born with a larger vision
Anxiety
One only has to spend a little time in any state of awareness of what’s going on…
Subjectivities
Reflecting on isolation, a friend notes that, to the extent that our sense of self derives from our interactions with others, when we are cut off, those parts of us begin to atrophy.
Listening
Everywhere you go – inside yourself or in the world – there is a conversation going on.
The narrative of our time
What might be called “the narrative of our (any) time” is never singular.
Intentions and Values
As I said yesterday, a resolution on its own is not robust enough to effect change.
Refusing to refuse
The poet and philosopher David Whyte observes that humans seem to have the unique quality to resist being who we are.
A too-small reality
It is easy to get caught in the web of a too-small vision of reality
Boxing day
Its archaic origins shrouded in the mists of time, “Boxing Day” dates back to the 1830s
Incarnation
Today, Christians around the world (minus the Orthodox churches) celebrate the feast of Christmas.
Knowing is not doing
It’s so obvious a statement that it’s not particularly interesting. It illustrates the point that knowing something (saying “knowing isn’t doing”) by itself is not very compelling.
The speed of trust
In addition to the title of a book by Steven Covey, this is a principle “with legs.”
Delight and despair
The ability to select for danger has an evolutionary advantage. So does the ability to select for love.
Planning for the inevitable
I recently heard a friend describe the practice of midwifery as “planning for the inevitable.”
The surprise can be the gift
A friend of mine is known to wrap up and give as gifts the most mundane items.
Critical yeast
John Paul Lederach is an academic, mediator, negotiator, peacebuilding practitioner, trainer and consultant at the forefront of international peace building efforts.
If you want to go fast
“If you want to go fast, go alone; if you want to go far, go together.” – African proverb
Go slow to go fast
Whether one is talking about product development, dog training, weight loss, or just about anything else, “go slow to go fast” is a reliable basic principle.
Generational time
When it comes to large-scale cultural and social change, the actor and artist America Ferrera says …
Your 200-year present
Elise Boulding was a Norwegian-born, American Quaker sociologist …
One layer at a time
There is a Chinese proverb that says one cannot make rice plants grow faster by pulling on their tops.
Magic
We spend a lot of our lives being miserable about things that are either over or haven’t happened.
The freedom paradox
Freedom parallels money in that people with either too little or too much of it are frequently unhappy.
Happiness and Joy: Understandings and Nuance
Happiness makes a fine road-side stop, and a poor destination.
Hope, part 1
November 1, 1989: the 28-year-old Berlin wall (and the cold war it symbolized) was going to last forever.
Nothing
Once upon a time, a man had finished evening prayers and stood contemplating the night sky.
Memory
While it has nothing to do with the actual etymology of the word, “remember” connotes putting back together
The statue of responsibility
The psychiatrist and existentialist philosopher Viktor Frankl suggested that
So much to love, part 1
Culturally, we appear to be committed to an impoverished definition of love:
The value of knowledge
There was a time when humans believed we lived on a flat earth with sky above us.
Candles and Stories
Our son, Ben, and his partner recently bought his sister a birthday present
Getting there from here
When we think about how to travel from where we are to where we want to go
Re-narrating our encounters
A Buddhist monk, when asked how he copes with moving through the world,
Happenings, not things
Physicists tell us that there is no such thing as “here” and “now.”
Genius Hesitates
“It seems to me …” – Albert Einstein, from the introduction to his article introducing quantum mechanics.
The breakfast reset hypothesis
My son-in-law has developed what he calls the “breakfast reset hypothesis.”
The Fourth Primary Colour
There isn’t one. Investing your energy into looking for the fourth primary colour is pointless.
The Invisibility of the Daily
There is simply too much information in our environment for us to take it all in. Doing so would paralyze us.
Remembering Forward
Recently, my wife told me about an 11-year old picture Facebook reminded her about:
Of Greyhounds and Rabbits
There are lots of great storytellers out there. The American pastor and Professor of New Testament and Preaching, Fred Craddock was one of them.
Words
We’re inundated with language: social media; advertising; political discourse; entertainment.
5 (Free) Ways to Gratitude
Thankfulness is connected to our experience of having received something we didn’t earn.
Stories Sisyphus Could Be Telling Himself
“There are worse rocks and worse hills. At least this rock is not that heavy, and this hill is not that steep.”
Education and Information
Democracy (and other meaningful ways of living together) requires, amongst other things, an educated citizenry and open media.
We need elder wisdom more than ever
Humans demonstrate an interesting and rare evolutionary paradox:
Mind the gap
When you board the underground train at Heathrow airport in London, a disembodied voice warns you to “mind the gap”
Certainty
Our culture prizes certainty. In our adversarial political and legal systems, to admit not knowing or, worse, to admit being wrong, is perceived as the kiss of death.
Safety
Once upon a time, there were two seeds that lay side by side in the warm, fertile spring soil.
Wealth
A story from the Hindu tradition:
Once upon a time, a traveling monk reached the outskirts of a village and settled down under a tree for the night.
Risk
It’s difficult to take a risk without trusting that the risk will lead us closer to that which we seek.
Labels
Labels can be a helpful shorthand: signs that tell us a lot in a glance, or a few words.